Chemical Imbalance!

Post-birthday blues! They usually come with a label that reads Minor Depression and they last about week.

Tuesday was the day of my 34th birthday. Was it a great day? Did it feel like a birthday? Um, yes and no.

Yes, because of the pressies. My trip down to Cape Town was a huge pressie – what a gift that was! Birthday wishes are presents too and I got lots of those. My ‘phone rang quite a few times. For a change the ring tone was the gorgeous instrumental ring tone and not the Psycho movie theme which heralds a communiqué from Maw. There were birthday wishes from far and wide, telephonically, electronically and blogonically. In the snail mail post box, a package from the US of A containing two Jack Daniels T-shirts. Thank you, Commander, from the bottom of my heart. *big sloppy kiss* And SwissTwist, I am waiting with bated breath for my "card."

And no, it didn’t feel like a birthday when it comes to the presents from My Nearest and Dearest. Maw’s gift? Um, nothing… but she did promise to give me money at some stage. Makes me sound a bit like a prostitute, doesn't it? I am her daughter, she has known me for 34 years and she still cannot figure out what to get me for my birthday. How hard can it be?

What did Flyboy get me? Um, nothing. In the words of Forrest Gump, “And that is all I have to say about that.” The temptation to rant and go off at him right now is tremendous but there doesn’t seem to be any point. His reason: "When was I supposed to get to the shops?"

He did take me out to supper, that was a bit touch and go because the rain that bucketed down on my birthday had once again turned the roads into slop. Supper, a sushi starter and Thai dish for main course, my two favourite foods in a decent restaurant – all in all not too bad. Oh, I honestly don’t mean to sound ungrateful but we go out to supper once a month, it doesn’t have that birthday shine. If a whole bunch of friends could have joined us and turned it into a night of good food, good company and laughter... now that would have been special.

However in retrospect, it was a good birthday. It sure as hell beats the year when I was working in the dairy on my birthday. Or another time when I spent it alone and didn’t see a single living soul the whole day. The most wonderful gift is that I have friends out there, all over the world who do appreciate me, make me feel special and who spoilt me throughout the year. What I can’t understand is if my friends can get it right, half of them have never even met me, why can’t My Nearest and Dearest?

It’s difficult not have expectations on your birthday. I mean it is the day you wailed your way into the world. Aren’t the people closest to you supposed to make you feel special, like you mean something to them, that they are pleased you walk this earth? I thought that was the idea behind birthdays.

I really like other people’s birthdays (when I remember them of course). Personally I put a lot of thought into the choice of gift. And I like spoiling someone on their birthday because you get the chance to say “This is my way of saying you are special to me and I am glad you were born today however many years ago.”

Maybe I am doing it wrong.

My apologies for being so glum. Every year as the 29th of August approaches I keep thinking “Maybe it will be different this year.” I so desperately wish My Nearest and Dearest would put in a bit of effort to make me feel appreciated and special just one day a year.

But it seems my expectations are too high. Maybe they feel it is not necessary to indulge me, maybe I don't do enough to deserve indulgence.

To all of you who wished me happy birthday in one way or another, a heartfelt thank you. You made the difference.

PS: Happy Spring Day to those of you in the Southern Hemisphere.