Are Men Un-Evolving?

Everyone has heard the clichés about men and their caves and I don’t want to belabour a point but circumstances dictate that I have to get this off my ample chest (I’m not bragging, the ampleness is a curse).

People have been debating and arguing for centuries whether or not we originated from apes and in my humble opinion, the answer is very simple. Yes, we do! This is supported by the simple fact that men don’t know how to operate the close function of a door or a window because we must have lived in caves at some stage.

I have lost count of the number of times a day I have to schlep through the house and close the doors that have been left open by Flyboy and his cronies. What is it about men and doors? Is there some mythical force that prevents them from pulling a door closed behind them when they have entered/exited?

Some points to reinforce my statement:

• A phone call I received whilst up in the Fleshpots of Gauteng. He misses me (sweet) because he keeps on forgetting to close the doors and the windows at night (aaah, that "I live to serve" thing again). As a result he wakes up at 03h00 because his teeth are chattering so much he has a headache.

• Last winter we had polar bears knocking on the door asking if they can come in because the temperature within these walls was more ambient than outside.

• When driving around on the farm all the windows of the vehicle MUST be open, regardless of season, weather, biting flies, flies, flying cow pats, etc – this applies to ALL the men here on the farm. And Flyboy wonders why he is cold. I’ve given up trying to explain.

• A point from my sordid past, my pet Neanderthal (read ex-boyfriend) had a very large luxury German vehicle (no, the story about men with big cars isn’t applicable in his case) with all those pesky window controlling buttons on the driver’s side. He would open ALL the windows in winter. Have you any idea how cold and biting winters are in Jo’burg? Imagine a blonde in an enormous black Beamer. Sounds good? Add a blue face to the blonde and see what you can come up – Smurfette!

A tip for guys with girlfriends with long hair: If her hair is loose, don’t open the windows all the way whilst driving. I promise you, she is not swatting at flies around her head, she is trying to get her hair out of her eyes and mouth.

Maybe I am generalising. Maybe there are men out there who aren’t trained apes. Maybe Flyboy would close doors and windows if they had joysticks instead of handles.

Hm, maybe I should go and see a patent lawyer, I might be onto something.