Clipping My Wings and Farm Tales!
Is there a form you have to fill in to apply for Damsel in Distress status? And do you get a disability grant? I think I have just become one.
Clipping My Wings
Thanks to the ridiculous fuel price I am not allowed to go to town anymore. Okay, it's not a big loss because town is one of those really ugly agricultural dives where the most prominent buildings are the Co-op, the bank, the church(es) and the bottle store(s) (the bottle stores are an asset though). However my town day was my one day of freedom and it wasn't much of a freedom because the list of things to do is endless and by the time you get home you say to yourself "Never again!" Every now and then I do get a chance to squeeze in a few minutes of Me Time though but it seems that has all come to an end. I am not allowed to go to town 'willy-nilly' because petrol is too expensive. I am however allowed to go to town when we are going to the airfield because it's okay to spend money on flying and driving 100kms to the airfield. Is it just me or doesn't this seem entirely fair? It is not FAIR! *stomp, stomp, tantrum, tantrum*
So, here I am in my facebrick tower, alone with clipped wings. Is there a knight out there?
And now for something entirely different. I have to share with the world the height of intelligence that I have to live with here.
The DVD Saga
The farm Flyboy works on has two other guys employed in managerial type positions and then a whole squad of labourers. Let's call them Reptile and SwissMix. Now SwissMix had an astronomical DVD collection which he has been lending to Reptile because Reptile has an impressive DVD player but no DVDs. This lend and borrow arrangement has been to our advantage as we have spent many an enjoyable evening at Reptile's house watching SwissMix's DVDs.
The twist in the tale came in when Reptile went on leave recently. One of the farm labourers approached SwissMix asking for a key for Reptile's house because he wanted to swap the batch of DVDs he had borrowed for a fresh batch. Apparently SwissMix's eyes bulged when he realised that Reptile was lending out SwissMix's DVDs without him even knowing about it.
Reptile, Dude, bad style!
The Rocky Road
Quite a few years ago before Flyboy started working on this farm his employers built a road to the nearest tar road using a type of soil made up of clay and gravel. Over the years the road has been exposed to the elements and the occasional haphazard scraping and as a result, the surface has worn away and these large, sump-munching rocks are now rearing their ugly heads. This does not auger well for my poor old chariot (not a utility vehicle) because she is being shaken apart.
One fine sunny day a while back Flyboy's boss comes to him and says to him he must come up with a way to solve the problem of the rocks "pushing up through the surface of the road." Pushing up? Oooooh, these are those plant-like rocks that grow when you water them. Gee, it couldn't actually be because the road surface is being eroded away.
This is a man with an engineering masters degree in agriculture. Is there stupidity medication available yet?
The Mother's Day/Mother's Birthday Fiasco (A Pearl of Incredulity)
If there is anyone out there who, by some quirk of fate, has a mother whose birthday occasionally falls on the same day as Mother's Day, you have my innermost sympathy. Maw has been planning the bash to end all bashes for the last three months and I have to be the sounding board. It is 09:15 according to my clock and I have already had two 'phone calls regarding recipes and whether I have ever bought those frozen sausage rolls you get at the supermarket and if yes, how do they taste. Oh, and I have been instructed that her birthday present will be my hard labour in her garden.
After about 5 minutes of her incessant chatter about food (her obsession, my bane), the new "cute thing their cat did," Paw's phlegm in his chest and exactly what work I have to do in her garden she says to me "You aren't very chatty, why don't you ever talk to me?" Mother, you actually have to shut up in order for me to talk.
Update: It's now three 'phone calls, I have to go and wash her carpets too at some stage.
Oh, there had so better be a good place in heaven for me!
Clipping My Wings
Thanks to the ridiculous fuel price I am not allowed to go to town anymore. Okay, it's not a big loss because town is one of those really ugly agricultural dives where the most prominent buildings are the Co-op, the bank, the church(es) and the bottle store(s) (the bottle stores are an asset though). However my town day was my one day of freedom and it wasn't much of a freedom because the list of things to do is endless and by the time you get home you say to yourself "Never again!" Every now and then I do get a chance to squeeze in a few minutes of Me Time though but it seems that has all come to an end. I am not allowed to go to town 'willy-nilly' because petrol is too expensive. I am however allowed to go to town when we are going to the airfield because it's okay to spend money on flying and driving 100kms to the airfield. Is it just me or doesn't this seem entirely fair? It is not FAIR! *stomp, stomp, tantrum, tantrum*
So, here I am in my facebrick tower, alone with clipped wings. Is there a knight out there?
And now for something entirely different. I have to share with the world the height of intelligence that I have to live with here.
The DVD Saga
The farm Flyboy works on has two other guys employed in managerial type positions and then a whole squad of labourers. Let's call them Reptile and SwissMix. Now SwissMix had an astronomical DVD collection which he has been lending to Reptile because Reptile has an impressive DVD player but no DVDs. This lend and borrow arrangement has been to our advantage as we have spent many an enjoyable evening at Reptile's house watching SwissMix's DVDs.
The twist in the tale came in when Reptile went on leave recently. One of the farm labourers approached SwissMix asking for a key for Reptile's house because he wanted to swap the batch of DVDs he had borrowed for a fresh batch. Apparently SwissMix's eyes bulged when he realised that Reptile was lending out SwissMix's DVDs without him even knowing about it.
Reptile, Dude, bad style!
The Rocky Road
Quite a few years ago before Flyboy started working on this farm his employers built a road to the nearest tar road using a type of soil made up of clay and gravel. Over the years the road has been exposed to the elements and the occasional haphazard scraping and as a result, the surface has worn away and these large, sump-munching rocks are now rearing their ugly heads. This does not auger well for my poor old chariot (not a utility vehicle) because she is being shaken apart.
One fine sunny day a while back Flyboy's boss comes to him and says to him he must come up with a way to solve the problem of the rocks "pushing up through the surface of the road." Pushing up? Oooooh, these are those plant-like rocks that grow when you water them. Gee, it couldn't actually be because the road surface is being eroded away.
This is a man with an engineering masters degree in agriculture. Is there stupidity medication available yet?
The Mother's Day/Mother's Birthday Fiasco (A Pearl of Incredulity)
If there is anyone out there who, by some quirk of fate, has a mother whose birthday occasionally falls on the same day as Mother's Day, you have my innermost sympathy. Maw has been planning the bash to end all bashes for the last three months and I have to be the sounding board. It is 09:15 according to my clock and I have already had two 'phone calls regarding recipes and whether I have ever bought those frozen sausage rolls you get at the supermarket and if yes, how do they taste. Oh, and I have been instructed that her birthday present will be my hard labour in her garden.
After about 5 minutes of her incessant chatter about food (her obsession, my bane), the new "cute thing their cat did," Paw's phlegm in his chest and exactly what work I have to do in her garden she says to me "You aren't very chatty, why don't you ever talk to me?" Mother, you actually have to shut up in order for me to talk.
Update: It's now three 'phone calls, I have to go and wash her carpets too at some stage.
Oh, there had so better be a good place in heaven for me!
posted by Katt at 10:05 am
4 Comments:
The rocky road problem is easily solved. The real question is how much the Brainmeister is willing to pay. The best known form of stupidity medication is a lump of lead taken orally. It requires a relatively complex delivery system to be effective, though.
"you,re Beautiful so beauti-
ful, and I see your face
in a crowded place"
That,s for you Katt.
Sorry I had to steal the
words of "horror James
Blunt"
More later.
To Kyk: I like your style. Did I ever mention I am pretty good shot with a shotgun, a rifle and a handgun? You have planted the seed of evil.
To P & E: What am I going to do with you, girl? I send you a photo of me and you think I am beautiful. You are confusing me with the dog. :-)
Why not snatch "Jim Bob,s"
bicycle for a quick get
away, a girl must get out.
No I,m not Confucius -
I lookie, I see what I see.
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