Feeling Useless – a Morbid Peek into My Tortured Soul!

Today has been a day of feeling useless!

First thing that happens is a distant friend relates to me that things are going wrong with his fledgling company! That’s the last thing he needs and the last thing that I want to happen to him because, if anyone can do this company thing, he can. I believe in this man’s concept and his abilities. And all I can do, being so far and being so isolated, is offer myself as a sounding board, someone who he can ‘phone and blow off steam because damn it, the world can be a hectic place sometimes. And what happens? He tells me “Thanks, but it’s not necessary.”

It feels like someone kicked me in the stomach! It is a rare occasion that I feel so superfluous.

Does this mean a friendship is like a relationship? “Oh, I can handle your problems and be there for you but my problems are bigger than you!” Yeah, I am having a neurotic moment but what the hell, this is my space! I’m a woman, neuroses are my prerogative. And I sure as hell don’t understand this friendship concept.

And now I am stuck in the standard Loco Locals (thanks, Kyk – very apt) night from hell: A braai, hunting stories, flying stories, "my willy is bigger than yours"and darts. I’ve been sitting at this PC for a while and no one has noticed I am missing. Maybe that is a saving grace!

The words of a maestro, Mr Moore, Mr Gary Moore:
All messed up
And no place to go!

But these are my problems of my own creation and somewhere, somehow I will have to find my way. The strange thing about life is that tomorrow, the sun will rise, it will be a bright new day and the pieces will be picked up and the curtains will rise because the show must go on.