Maw Musings!
Yesterday fell into the "I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed" category! For starters over the weekend I became the long suffering recipient of two whole cassettes of an arbitration. *insert string of expletives of your choice* (This has just become an interactive blog... oh wait, it is an interactive blog by nature of the fact that people can comment).
Due to fact that my motto in life swings like a pendulum between "Procrastination will rule.... one day!" and "I work well under pressure!" I found myself sitting at my PC with two full 1.5 hour cassettes staring at me, begging for the attention they should have received on Monday already. The situation did reach a head like a big swollen zit when Maw called and discovered that no progress had been made on her "Ensuring My Darling Baby Girl a Bit of Income" project. She was well within reason being the original recipient of the entire job which of course has a deadline attached to it. And obviously she was "helping me out," bless her oft used frying pan! Needless to say, being the charming, dutiful (modest) daughter I am and almost bringing about her sudden demise, I was spurred on to actually just sit through a couple of hours at least without a) chatting to anyone online, b) checking my Gmail and c) checking for updated blogs.
I wonder how she would take it if I told that I would prefer to cause a scandal and sell my body at the entrance to the farm than sit through this drivel.
Maw has been in fine form these past few days so this posting will be mostly dedicated to her particular brand of insanity.
A while back I voiced my opinion about awful cellular ring tones. And now I have a confession to make. My cell has the funky option where you can assign different ring tones to different people. And I assigned one, to Maw. A couple of people who have suffered from the "Maw Phoning 6 Times a Day" phenomenon feel my choice is quite appropriate. I know, this is going to raise a few eyebrows and I am going to be branded an ungrateful daughter but you don’t know who I am and where to find me so neener-neener-neener! Oh, so now that you have gotten off your high horse you want to know what it is. How does the shower scene song from the movie "Psycho" sound?
As always presenting both sides of the coin, there is a downside to the attachment of the appropriate ring tone to Maw’s number. Instead of occasionally hearing the stunning instrumental of my general ring tone, the only sounds produced by my mobile communication device remind me of a shadowy knife and a blocked showerhead. Why is this? BECAUSE MY MOTHER IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO ‘PHONES ME!
On Sunday Maw reached a new pinnacle in her obsession to turn me into a cook like herself. We were at the airfield and being the dutiful daughter I am, I SMSed her early in the day to say firstly my battery WILL expire shortly (and therefor DO NOT PANIC) and secondly, Happy Birthday to Paw. A flat battery however does not deter her. When she wants to express the latest thought that has just randomly popped into her head, she will find a way to do so. And that method was via Flyboy’s cell for which she unfortunately has the number.
At the time of the phone calls Flyboy was instructing and generally whilst instructing a few thousand feet off the ground, you don’t really want to take telephone calls. When he landed he informed me that there were in fact two missed calls and a voice message on his phone from me Maw. Two messages and a voice message, this must be important, right? Well, yes, it was important in her world. The fact that she has put the apple cake recipe that I love so much "on the internet" (her term for sending something via e-mail) is a Code Red.
To add to the work aggravation and pressure she is trying to palm more work off on me. And of course I had to inform her that there is a strong possibility that I will not be around next weekend. You see, the planning department has finally come up with a plan to get to Cape Town to visit the one and only Kyknoord. Do I detect a few shades of green in the audience, ladies?
Maw pounced on this titbit of information like a cat on a catnip bush. Who was I going to visit? A friend. What friend? And then proceeded to become somewhat uppity when I wouldn’t reveal the name. For starters she has never heard me mention his name so she doesn’t know anything about him and I was in no mood for the next step, 20 Questions. Secondly, the minute she hears it is a man she will jump to all sorts of way off conclusions and proceed to plan a wedding and the names of her grandchildren.
Oh, there are many more stories I could grace The Katt Box with but this post would become too long for your undivided attention. I can say with all honestly, I am so hoping that whatever Maw’s got is not genetic!
PS: It’s 08:43 and I am suffering through phone call number 2 for the day already! And people wonder why I smoke!
Due to fact that my motto in life swings like a pendulum between "Procrastination will rule.... one day!" and "I work well under pressure!" I found myself sitting at my PC with two full 1.5 hour cassettes staring at me, begging for the attention they should have received on Monday already. The situation did reach a head like a big swollen zit when Maw called and discovered that no progress had been made on her "Ensuring My Darling Baby Girl a Bit of Income" project. She was well within reason being the original recipient of the entire job which of course has a deadline attached to it. And obviously she was "helping me out," bless her oft used frying pan! Needless to say, being the charming, dutiful (modest) daughter I am and almost bringing about her sudden demise, I was spurred on to actually just sit through a couple of hours at least without a) chatting to anyone online, b) checking my Gmail and c) checking for updated blogs.
I wonder how she would take it if I told that I would prefer to cause a scandal and sell my body at the entrance to the farm than sit through this drivel.
Maw has been in fine form these past few days so this posting will be mostly dedicated to her particular brand of insanity.
A while back I voiced my opinion about awful cellular ring tones. And now I have a confession to make. My cell has the funky option where you can assign different ring tones to different people. And I assigned one, to Maw. A couple of people who have suffered from the "Maw Phoning 6 Times a Day" phenomenon feel my choice is quite appropriate. I know, this is going to raise a few eyebrows and I am going to be branded an ungrateful daughter but you don’t know who I am and where to find me so neener-neener-neener! Oh, so now that you have gotten off your high horse you want to know what it is. How does the shower scene song from the movie "Psycho" sound?
As always presenting both sides of the coin, there is a downside to the attachment of the appropriate ring tone to Maw’s number. Instead of occasionally hearing the stunning instrumental of my general ring tone, the only sounds produced by my mobile communication device remind me of a shadowy knife and a blocked showerhead. Why is this? BECAUSE MY MOTHER IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO ‘PHONES ME!
On Sunday Maw reached a new pinnacle in her obsession to turn me into a cook like herself. We were at the airfield and being the dutiful daughter I am, I SMSed her early in the day to say firstly my battery WILL expire shortly (and therefor DO NOT PANIC) and secondly, Happy Birthday to Paw. A flat battery however does not deter her. When she wants to express the latest thought that has just randomly popped into her head, she will find a way to do so. And that method was via Flyboy’s cell for which she unfortunately has the number.
At the time of the phone calls Flyboy was instructing and generally whilst instructing a few thousand feet off the ground, you don’t really want to take telephone calls. When he landed he informed me that there were in fact two missed calls and a voice message on his phone from me Maw. Two messages and a voice message, this must be important, right? Well, yes, it was important in her world. The fact that she has put the apple cake recipe that I love so much "on the internet" (her term for sending something via e-mail) is a Code Red.
To add to the work aggravation and pressure she is trying to palm more work off on me. And of course I had to inform her that there is a strong possibility that I will not be around next weekend. You see, the planning department has finally come up with a plan to get to Cape Town to visit the one and only Kyknoord. Do I detect a few shades of green in the audience, ladies?
Maw pounced on this titbit of information like a cat on a catnip bush. Who was I going to visit? A friend. What friend? And then proceeded to become somewhat uppity when I wouldn’t reveal the name. For starters she has never heard me mention his name so she doesn’t know anything about him and I was in no mood for the next step, 20 Questions. Secondly, the minute she hears it is a man she will jump to all sorts of way off conclusions and proceed to plan a wedding and the names of her grandchildren.
Oh, there are many more stories I could grace The Katt Box with but this post would become too long for your undivided attention. I can say with all honestly, I am so hoping that whatever Maw’s got is not genetic!
PS: It’s 08:43 and I am suffering through phone call number 2 for the day already! And people wonder why I smoke!
posted by Katt at 8:59 am
9 Comments:
It's about weaning your mother off you Katt. Leave your cellphone off more, take more smoke breaks. ;-)
Jam: I have a very valid point! And I must add I like your style. :-) Believe it or not I have tried this approach but the wrath of hell incurred when I switch it on again just doesn't seem worth it. *sigh*
lol, when mummy dearest calls me my phone plays a snippet of Crazy by Gnarles Barkley.
"I think your craaaaazy,
I think your craaaaazy,
I think your craaaaazy,"
"neener-neener-neener"? That sounds a bit like my ring tone.
Regarding that shade of green - for some it may represent nausea (although I presume you meant jealousy).
Hee hee. Sorry Kyk.
Poor poor Kat, looks like you,ve got your self a genuine Maw
Baker, haahaaha!!
But eh! Don't keep US in the
dark about the goings on in the
Cape, LOL!!!
Maw Baker is bad enough, but
Maw Baker AND green!!!!
HotPersona: I am so glad you agree with me.
Shortypam: I think you are on to something there. I have tried that too actually, and I get that "I can't talk now, I am watching a TV programme."
Kyk: I believe you! :-D
Mandy J Watson: Good point! LOL Never thought of that.
GincoLeaves: Rest assured, sweetie, we will do something blogworthy, I have no doubt about that.
cellphones, cellphones, cellphones... damien has the "jaws" ringtone, my mom and my bestest fwend have their own voices as their ringtones on my phone, my brother is an f1 car speeding by, my SIL is a recording of my nephew talking, my sister b has "blister in thw sun" and my sister c has aerosmith's "jaded"... heaven help me if i change one because then i dunno who's what anymore!
my mommy darling and my sister b actually threw me a gloriously single bachelorette party at the beginning of this year- i think they've all finally accepted that i'm quite happily single!
definitely green with envy here- and getting greener the more i think of you getting to meet the apparently johnny depp like kyk...
Now THAT will be a post worth waiting for!!!! I am more than green with envy. We should get Kyk here and invite him for drinks. I am sure it will be huge fun!!!! Maybe he'll be my next pick of the week!!!
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