Wandering Around Mentally!
This last week has been such a mixed bag of everything, thoughts, emotions, being pulled in so many directions! By the end of the week there was no sense to the confusion in my head and it was just easier to hide behind Blogthings and treat myself to a bit of euphoria resulting from the comments. Thanks, Blogosphere!
Oh, talking about comment euphoria, in the unlikely event that someone out there isn’t familiar with Kyknoord’s blog, check out his post entitled Perspective. Talk a blog gone bad, in a most excellent way. As always, Kyk supplies a brilliant read and then to add to the laugh, the comments will slay you! The fleshy bits on my face called cheeks were actually hurting this morning from laughing so much. Again, thanks, Blogosphere!
Maybe recapping the week will help to put things in perspective, for me anyway! And not perspective of the Kyknoord soggy biscuit kind though. The little dramas and sagas which have been blogged will not be regurgitated.
The Week in Review
Monday night, a meat tanning session at Reptile’s spot. Reptile is *surprise* a PH (professional hunter) and I say *surprise* because every second man and his dog around here is one. Reptile had three friends/hunters out here from the States (Minnesota and North Dakota to be exact), visiting and hunting obviously. Honestly I was dreading the evening because there was a strong possibility of it turning into a “my rifle is bigger than yours, my calibre is bigger than yours, my willie is bigger than yours” evening. However to say the evening was enjoyable would be a gross misrepresentation of the fun that was had by all. The Americans were wonderful! On a couple of occasions I was told I was “a hoot!” Granted, the alcoholic beverages had been flowing fast and furious by that stage so who knows whether it was my comical personality that impressed or just the alcohol talking.
However there of course had to be one sour note, there always has to be I guess. Later in the evening I wanted to comment on something someone had said. As I open my gob and draw in my breath Reptile cuts my utterance off at the pass and blurts out aggressively in Afrikaans: “Don’t come and display your city manners here!”
There’s that misfit thing again.
Tuesday morning, at about 01:00am I was slogging away at the keyboard, cursing Blogger and my internet connection in the process of trying to get “Birthday Wishes” posted for The Viking. Please don’t tell me I can mail posts to Blogger. That function doesn’t work anymore and only the Blogger gremlins would know why.
On Thursday things went pear-shaped! Or should I rather say more pear-shaped, a psychotic farm worker initiated the shaping process earlier that week.
Whilst indulging in my recently acquired role of domestic frump, removing washing from the line my cell ‘phone rang. The call was from a company in Pretoria. My number had been garnered from The Viking. They enquired as to whether I would be interested in a job.
I am not even going to attempt to describe what went through my head What I can describe is the feeling in my legs, similar to the shock experienced after I practically nose-dived off a two meter drop onto jagged rocks a while back (not on purpose I hasten to add).
The die has been cast, the CV has been dispatched!
Shock number two was administered about ten minutes later when The Viking called to inform me I shouldn’t be shocked if a company in Pretoria ‘phones me offering me a job. Not his fault, he didn’t realise they would be so quick to pounce. But that wasn’t the second shock, that was administered later in the conversation. And wasn’t really a shock, more of a pang of pain.
While I was up in Pretoria, The Viking and I had a lengthy discussion about our birthdays and how they always turn out just plain crappy. So, I hatched the plan to organise a surprise birthday party for him. I so wanted to blog about it but I couldn’t because The Viking skulks around here occasionally. Unfortunately… things… just got in the way for me up there and I had to return home after passing the torch onto a couple of his friends. It seems the party took place last Saturday. A good time was had by all. And The Viking was informed that it was my brainchild. For which he thanked me.
It’s difficult not to feel left out! Not that I begrudge anyone the good time because, please believe me, I don’t. I am really happy that The Viking has good memories of a birthday and that everything worked out well.
How do I put it into words? Being with my friends and like-minded people in Pretoria makes such an impression on me, leaves me with so many memories that not a day goes by when I don’t think about each and every one of them. And wonder how he or she is doing, what they are up to, are they working too hard, how life is treating them? Obviously because of the fast paced life up there they don’t get a chance to mail or ‘phone which is okay, I understand. I used to be there myself many eons ago.
What gets to me is the feeling of having been forgotten. Oh, I know it is not the truth. If I was forgotten people wouldn’t think of me when a job opportunity opens up. But these feelings of emptiness, loneliness and failure just won’t go away.
Other things in Review
So many things have come clear to me since I have come back. One thing that is painfully apparent is that I am involved with a man who has no respect for me. It’s little things, the way he speaks to me, the way he treats me in front of people. Granted he has apologises for his behaviour when he realises I am not going to stand for it, but that somehow doesn’t break the cycle.
My friends all give advice, dump him, move back to Pretoria, get a job and get your life back together. Sound advice, yes. But if I could be one of those people who leave someone in the lurch like I would be leaving Flyboy in the lurch I don’t think I would like myself too much. And guess what, my friends! I don’t think you would like me either. You see, part of what you like about me is that I am kind and caring.
Oh, but I have irons in the fire! I have plans! Things will be different, my life will be different. The best way to do it, as Frankie said, is My Way!
Oh, talking about comment euphoria, in the unlikely event that someone out there isn’t familiar with Kyknoord’s blog, check out his post entitled Perspective. Talk a blog gone bad, in a most excellent way. As always, Kyk supplies a brilliant read and then to add to the laugh, the comments will slay you! The fleshy bits on my face called cheeks were actually hurting this morning from laughing so much. Again, thanks, Blogosphere!
Maybe recapping the week will help to put things in perspective, for me anyway! And not perspective of the Kyknoord soggy biscuit kind though. The little dramas and sagas which have been blogged will not be regurgitated.
The Week in Review
Monday night, a meat tanning session at Reptile’s spot. Reptile is *surprise* a PH (professional hunter) and I say *surprise* because every second man and his dog around here is one. Reptile had three friends/hunters out here from the States (Minnesota and North Dakota to be exact), visiting and hunting obviously. Honestly I was dreading the evening because there was a strong possibility of it turning into a “my rifle is bigger than yours, my calibre is bigger than yours, my willie is bigger than yours” evening. However to say the evening was enjoyable would be a gross misrepresentation of the fun that was had by all. The Americans were wonderful! On a couple of occasions I was told I was “a hoot!” Granted, the alcoholic beverages had been flowing fast and furious by that stage so who knows whether it was my comical personality that impressed or just the alcohol talking.
However there of course had to be one sour note, there always has to be I guess. Later in the evening I wanted to comment on something someone had said. As I open my gob and draw in my breath Reptile cuts my utterance off at the pass and blurts out aggressively in Afrikaans: “Don’t come and display your city manners here!”
There’s that misfit thing again.
Tuesday morning, at about 01:00am I was slogging away at the keyboard, cursing Blogger and my internet connection in the process of trying to get “Birthday Wishes” posted for The Viking. Please don’t tell me I can mail posts to Blogger. That function doesn’t work anymore and only the Blogger gremlins would know why.
On Thursday things went pear-shaped! Or should I rather say more pear-shaped, a psychotic farm worker initiated the shaping process earlier that week.
Whilst indulging in my recently acquired role of domestic frump, removing washing from the line my cell ‘phone rang. The call was from a company in Pretoria. My number had been garnered from The Viking. They enquired as to whether I would be interested in a job.
I am not even going to attempt to describe what went through my head What I can describe is the feeling in my legs, similar to the shock experienced after I practically nose-dived off a two meter drop onto jagged rocks a while back (not on purpose I hasten to add).
The die has been cast, the CV has been dispatched!
Shock number two was administered about ten minutes later when The Viking called to inform me I shouldn’t be shocked if a company in Pretoria ‘phones me offering me a job. Not his fault, he didn’t realise they would be so quick to pounce. But that wasn’t the second shock, that was administered later in the conversation. And wasn’t really a shock, more of a pang of pain.
While I was up in Pretoria, The Viking and I had a lengthy discussion about our birthdays and how they always turn out just plain crappy. So, I hatched the plan to organise a surprise birthday party for him. I so wanted to blog about it but I couldn’t because The Viking skulks around here occasionally. Unfortunately… things… just got in the way for me up there and I had to return home after passing the torch onto a couple of his friends. It seems the party took place last Saturday. A good time was had by all. And The Viking was informed that it was my brainchild. For which he thanked me.
It’s difficult not to feel left out! Not that I begrudge anyone the good time because, please believe me, I don’t. I am really happy that The Viking has good memories of a birthday and that everything worked out well.
How do I put it into words? Being with my friends and like-minded people in Pretoria makes such an impression on me, leaves me with so many memories that not a day goes by when I don’t think about each and every one of them. And wonder how he or she is doing, what they are up to, are they working too hard, how life is treating them? Obviously because of the fast paced life up there they don’t get a chance to mail or ‘phone which is okay, I understand. I used to be there myself many eons ago.
What gets to me is the feeling of having been forgotten. Oh, I know it is not the truth. If I was forgotten people wouldn’t think of me when a job opportunity opens up. But these feelings of emptiness, loneliness and failure just won’t go away.
Other things in Review
So many things have come clear to me since I have come back. One thing that is painfully apparent is that I am involved with a man who has no respect for me. It’s little things, the way he speaks to me, the way he treats me in front of people. Granted he has apologises for his behaviour when he realises I am not going to stand for it, but that somehow doesn’t break the cycle.
My friends all give advice, dump him, move back to Pretoria, get a job and get your life back together. Sound advice, yes. But if I could be one of those people who leave someone in the lurch like I would be leaving Flyboy in the lurch I don’t think I would like myself too much. And guess what, my friends! I don’t think you would like me either. You see, part of what you like about me is that I am kind and caring.
Oh, but I have irons in the fire! I have plans! Things will be different, my life will be different. The best way to do it, as Frankie said, is My Way!
posted by Katt at 9:00 pm
3 Comments:
i'm thinking of you katt!
lemme know next time you're in good ol' pta & maybe we can make a plan to hook up!
hows this for word verification duelww... sound like something you feel like doing?!
Sheesh, I wish I was there. So much to talk about.
That CV thingy ... bother ~ am very Eeyore on that one myself. Want to escape life & meet me in the "Hundred Acre Wood" ... maybe Kyk would bring us biscuits & tell jokes. *wink*
Great post ... I still think you should be a writer!
Smooch,
The Tart
=^..^=
Angel: Thanks girl! I will definitely make a plan for a date when I am up north again. Deulww, hm, does bring a few ideas to mind. :-D
The Tart: Ooh, can we go the Hundred Acre Wood? And hunt for hephalumps? Please, please! And cookies and comedy from Kyk would be the cherry on the top.
Thanks for the compliment on my writing skills, just the right thing to make a girl feel better. :-) Clicking my way over to your and the kitties' blog now!
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