Birthday Wishes!

It’s The Viking’s birthday today so The Katt Box is going to be dedicated to the illusive man for a day. Don’t expect any comments; he is a Skulker of NOTE! But believe me, he will read it because he thinks I am writing an exposé on him. Isn’t power a wonderful thing to have? Here goes!

Hail, O’ sage and mighty Viking!

Now that I have your attention and soothed your ego…

It’s your 34th birthday today! You beat me by a month and a bit but we can blame that on our parents I guess, they made you older than me. But I think I have more wrinkles, however you win in the “thinning patch on scone” front (now he is angry with me – sore point).

So, what do I do now? Reminisce on what we have done together or just dish out the birthday wishes? Come to think of it, we haven’t done a hell of a lot together. There are no bodies we buried together, no warming up jail cells together, no jumping out of aeroplanes together (not that I would anyway), no horse riding, no swimming, no parasailing… probably because we didn’t buy Tampax (remind me to tell you that joke if you don’t get the last bit). In fact, nothing really exciting at all!

What have we done together? We have chatted into the wee small hours, laughed about things that probably only we would understand, terrorised each other, argued, turned your dad’s house into a circus, fended off awkward questions, and raised a few eyebrows. You trusted me enough to cut your hair, even after the horror stories of what I did to Flyboy’s hair. And we went to the dumping ground together… actually, that is quite adventurous! Oh yes, remember when you and Quinnie came flying one weekend many, many moons ago – the good old days when we were all young, stupid and employed!

Maybe it’s about here that I should detract from what some may perceive as a somewhat boring friendship and move on to my birthday wishes for you.

In Sport:
1. May The Sharks rugby team always win, except when The Bulls are playing of course. If this wish comes true it might mean that when I ‘phone you on a Saturday night in desperate need of mental stimulation you could possibly be in a good mood and not a grump “because of the ref.”

Oh, sorry, this is supposed to be about you.

2. May a miracle happen and the Springboks rugby team actually start playing like a rugby team and not a blind school.

Hey, these are birthday wishes, not spells. Wishes don’t always come true but there is always *ahem* blind, stupid hope!

3. May The Proteas Cricket team win each and every game they play.

How are they doing at the moment? Is it cricket season? Huh? (He hates the fact that I am just not THAT into sport).

4. Um, may the team you support in Formula 1 always have pole position and cross the finish line first – damn, I can’t remember who you support. I’m sorry! If the car isn’t red and driven by a German I hit a blank.

Let me guess, you want to throttle me right about now!

5. May you get to play cricket for those guys in England. Is that offer still valid? And can I get a photo of you in your white outfit?

In Life:
1. May your business go from strength to strength and may your stress levels decrease exponentially. I know, FAT CHANCE on the stress levels thing, but damn it, I want my friend back!

Oh wait, this is about you, right?

2. May the people you employ develop sunny dispositions, drive, ambition, problem solving capabilities and the strength to withstand the force of Hurricane Viking that rages from time to time. Maybe you should put a few palm trees in the office for them, I hear they are quite bendy and good for hanging on to!

I’m getting the evil eye right now, aren’t I?

3. May companies you do work for understand that the account actually has to be paid and that it is normal to have to reboot their servers and routers from time to time.

4. May your friends start appreciating you as you are. I guess that includes your bad moods, stress levels, sense of humour, on call 24/7for all of them, bad eating habits and refusing to wear a seat belt (I’m still struggling with the last two myself).

In Love:
May you finally meet that girl who sweeps you off your feet.

Hope you have a wonderful day and a brilliant year!