Safety Net! Where are you?

Going somewhere on holiday and going somewhere for other reasons is just not the same thing.  A few months ago everything was new and exciting (okay, "old" new and exciting) and now it's a case of "Oh My Word, I actually have to survive in this place!"

 

What I am feeling now is almost too strange to explain.  It's the same as I felt when I got back to the Eastern Cape after being on holiday up here - numb, like I am having an outer-body experience.  Granted, I am running on severe lack of sleep, induced by two bad nights in a row with a really hectic 11 hour drive - don't expect a witty, intelligent read because it is just not possible at the moment.  What I would like to do is take a nice hot bath in my over sized tub, get into my bed and sleep for the next six years.  I'm kinda miserable and feeling like a fish out of water.

 

Despite being back for less than 24 hours, I can't help wondering when did I become so backward?  Can three years in the country change you so much?  Staring at the traffic on the highway I can't help getting a lump in my throat when I see a tractor being transported on a flatbed or a truck with a load of bales.

 

People up here talk about their futures and where their companies are going and what their future plans are.  And it's quite amazing actually, very impressive.  I mean these are people my age with serious PLANS for the future, going places, doing things.  Needless to say, I feel like a real ignoranus (search for that one on Google).  I don't have any plans for my future (and I can think of about three people who are going to read that sentence and be up in arms).

 

There is some good news though.  Flyboy 'phoned a company up here in which he has utmost faith when it comes to car trouble resolution.  After a few minutes of conversation the guy he was speaking to said he knows what the problem is, bring her in.  Bliss!  There is hope for my baby!  Because, in spite of her glitches, I really like my green "Ferrari."

 

So, there are ups and downs!  I've heard that sometimes it is good to throw away the safety net, to close your eyes and jump and learn to fly.  The question is, despite having 37 instructional flights (not specifying type of craft), will I fly?

 

The worst part is...  I just can't help feeling more like a misfit than ever.