A Sweet Smelling Reptile!

Finally, the sun comes out.  I was beginning to think I had been teleported to England.

 

Not much has been happening in cloud cuckoo land other than pouring rain and being chained to this PC typing my frozen fingers off.   But, like the sun breaking through the clouds this morning last night we had a break in the tedium – our weekly instalment of the meat tanning session was held at Reptile's house.

 

Reptile is an interesting character; he is a proudly South African "boerseun" and even more proudly Afrikaans.   Despite being loud, brash and a compulsive liar, his heart is in the right place.  He also staunchly believes in the concept of Afrikaner culture and, at the annual farmer's association get together, will windsurf across the dance floor to anything from "boere musiek" to Steve Mofmeyer.   I must add that I think the band is in his head because I was once whisk off to indulge in a tandem windsurfer ride and nearly fell flat on my face – my rhythm ain't his rhythm.

 

Having mentioned his taste in music, and I must add that taste would probably not be the appropriate word to describe it, I am breaking out in a cold sweat when I think of the times we have been treated to his version of "Afrikaans Kultuur."   I am a passionate lover of music and although "boere musiek" and the Kurt, Steve and Campells offerings do not fall within my sphere of appreciated tones, there is some really brilliant Afrikaans music out there.   Names that come to mind are Valiant Swart and one of my great vocal heroes, Arno Carstens who is very much Afrikaans even though he sings in English.   So, being open minded it was with great patience that I listened to Reptile's one CD which he proudly labelled "Afrikaans Kultuur."  How do you explain to someone that a song that starts "MacDonalds, MacDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut" is NOT culture in any language and constitutes an insult to the musical instruments being used without offending them?

 

Whilst I was up in Pretoria The Viking and I had lengthy debates about this Afrikaans music phenomenon.  The Viking sagely said that before I return to the Doldrums he was sure that a new "Kultuur" CD would "grace" the racks.  Yes, there is was, on TV – folks, dash out now and buy your own copy of "Skud, Skud."  Now I know what to buy Reptile for his birthday.

 

Having made Reptile's name mud it is time to turn the tables.

 

It is a well-known fact around here that in the days when my brain was still used on a daily basis I worked in the IT industry.  Because of this I am constantly called upon to assist with internet connections, blue screens and website design – I was a database administrator, can you spot the mistake in this picture?   Reptile is a professional hunter as well as being a farm manager and currently he is busy redesigning his own website.  Once again my "expertise" was called upon to peruse his newly reconstructed website on his laptop.   The nature of the LCD screen of course forced us to stand quite close together and was aggravated by the fact that, as usual, he wouldn't relinquish the mouse and "let me drive."   What is it with people and refusing to let someone else use the mouse?  Anyway, being in such close proximity to him my nasal passages got a subtle, rather glorious whiff of some or other aftershave or deodorant and I confess it was somewhat yummy.   My feline instincts kicked in and I had this urge to stalk him.  Oh my word!  I am becoming desperate!   This is Reptile for heavens sakes!  The guy smells of cow pats most of the time.

 

Fortunately sanity prevailed and I managed to take a mental step back and reassess the situation.  But, the moral of the story is a man who smells good is well… just rather yummy regardless of looks, personality and taste in music.

 

Yes, the train is definitely busy derailing!